Here’s the first and perhaps most important thing you need to know about leadership: IT ISN’T ABOUT YOU!
If you want to lead people, they have to want to follow. Think for a moment about those bosses you enjoyed working for with. See what I did there? The best bosses are those who work with you, not those that want to be your boss in the bossy sense of the word.
Your Reactions Reveal Your Intentions
Think you can fool people into thinking that you really care about them when you don’t? You’re wrong. Your words and actions reveal your true intentions. Let’s look at an example. Let’s say you are having trouble with one of your folks. They seem unhappy and unmotivated. When you talk to them, you find that they think you don’t care about their career opportunities, and that you favor other people over them.
Your reaction might be to get angry and deny that you favor others. You might argue with this employee and tell them how wrong they are. But the person doesn’t believe what you are saying and they walk out even more unhappy and unmotivated. Why?
You didn’t listen to them. You didn’t attempt to see the situation from their point of view. You didn’t admit to yourself that maybe you don’t communicate very well and that you are afraid to have difficult conversations.
You try to pacify people rather than be honest with them. You are more concerned with your ego and feelings than you are about other people’s. See, you really don’t have them or their career goals in mind.
How to Make it About Them
In this case, you should have listened to the person. You should have apologized for failing to communicate with them. Yes, I said apologize. You are responsible for ensuring your team knows what is going on and what is expected of them, not the other way around.
You should calmly explain your reasons for your decisions. Heck, maybe the person lacks the skills needed for that 2-week boot camp, or maybe you can’t afford it, or maybe they do a lousy job and you don’t want to send them to an expensive training class. Whatever it is, be honest with them.
Demonstrate you care:
- Work with them on a training plan to help them get where they want to go. Do you even know their career goals?
- Follow through with them through regular sessions where you discuss their performance, their attitude and their technical abilities.
- Celebrate their successes.
Learn to look at things from the perspective of your people (see the links below) and you’ll learn a lot about yourself, or keep thinking it’s all about you and you’ll be the only one on your team.
Related Links
- Feedback is a Gift – One We Sometimes Want to Return
- The Power of Asking Why
- Stop the Weeds of Discontent Before They Ruin Your Workplace
