Changes

Change is Here

This week, I attended two events that were hosted at work. Both were after normal business hours. Neither are events that I would have attended pre-2020. But I’ve changed.

Gathering to Honor and Support Indigenous People

was an online gathering of coworkers prompted by news of the discovery of the 751 bodies of the Indingenous children at a former residential school in Canada. I didn’t know what to expect, or what to do, or what to say. I didn’t have any real idea of what we could do that would make any difference. I just knew that I wanted to honor the souls of those children who died far from their families and homes. Children who had been taken by force so that they could be assimilated into the dominant culture while having their own culture erased.

Canada created a Truth and Reconciliation Commission to address their past. They have a report with Calls to Action if you’d like to see what they think can be done to help heal.

Canada is far from alone in this error. In our meeting, one person spoke of their father-in-law, who attended one of these schools in the U.S. He spoke of the generational trauma it caused his family. Another person located in Australia, said that as a child she saw lines of Indigenous children being taken from her town, and at that time, she didn’t understand where they were going or why.

The Irish, Scots, and Welsh have all suffered the same erasure of their cultures, as have other Indingenous people in South and Central America.

The Dakota 38

I attended this gathering in part because of the stain my hometown bears because of the brutal treatment of Native Americans that lived here in 1862. Their lands were taken, treaties broken, and they were starved by the government agents. When they inevitably reacted to being staved and erased, our government sentenced over 300 men to be hanged. President Lincoln pardoned all but 38. The 38 were hanged in my hometown on the day after Christmas in 1862.

This is the largest mass execution in U.S. history.

The Dakota commerate this trauma with a 330 mile ride on horseback that begins in South Dakota on December 9th, and ends in Mankato on December 26th. The weather is usually quite cold and the riders and their horses often camp outside along the way.

I can’t change past events. I can acknowledge them and honor them. I can see that people acted on hate and ignorance, and a failure to recognize their fellow man as equally human. I can do all of this without self hatred, or any hatred at all. I can recognize that people make decisions in the context of the times they live in.

I can also recognize that the decisions and values that led to these traumas are ultimately wrong and must not be repeated.

Queer Trivia Night to Close Out Pride Month

I rarely participate in any Queer events. I am gay. I no longer try to bury that part of my identity, but it will never be the primary part, or even in the top 5 characteristics of my identity. It’s just not that interesting to me, and I don’t understand why it would be that interesting to anyone else.

So why did I attend this event?

We have a pride Slack channel at work that I’ve been a lurker on for more than a year. I lurk because I don’t really have much to say on the topic, but I want to be available to provide support if someone needs it. And I guess now I feel like it’s a safe place for me to ask for support if I need it.

Plus, I’m benefiting from the struggle and sacrifces of people who fought and died for rights I now have. For example, I’m a woman who can own property, have a bank account, and can vote, I’m a gay person who the nice Supreme Court said I can get married and have rights like other people. While I’m truly grateful for their decision, it’s a bit galling that I’m too often reminded that I’m not valued as much as other humans are. These are rights I’d like to protect, and it’s abundantly clear to me that they are not at all safe.

So, I decided to hang out with my coworkes and join the celebration. Queer tivia night is my Lexington, Seneca Falls, and Stonewall.

At the beginning of the event I questioned whether I should stay, but I decided to see it through. I’m very glad I did. I don’t know much gay trivia and wished that I could phone Jane for the RuPaul Drag Race question, but I was able to contribute by answering a few bonus questions. It was a very fun event, and I’d join this team for any future events.

We’ve All Changed

I’m sure everyone of us has changed from who we were in March 2020. How have you changed:

• are you becomning a more loving person, or are you becoming more rigid, strident, and legalistic
• are you pushing through your fears to be the person you want to be, or are you giving in to your fear - you can tell by how your body feels
• are you willing to listen and hear others, or do you want to make them conform to your beliefs
• are you willing to sit with your discomfort, or do you want to make them shut up so you don’t have to be uncomfortable
• are you willing to let people live their own lives under the law, or must they conform to your cultural values
• are you willing to admit you don’t have the ability to see things from every perspective, or is your point of view the only one allowed
• are you willing to recognize that your experience is not universal

For me, I choose the path of love. I choose grace. I choose kindness.

I hope you join me.

• change