Give Up Perfection for Balance

October 2, 2021 - 7 minutes read - 1329 words

Perfectionism is a Lie That Ruins Your Health

“Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgement, and shame. It’s a shield. It’s a twenty-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from flight.”

― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

Have you ever tried a diet or taken a pill to lose weight fast
Have you ever told yourself that you need to perform extreme cardio workouts to lose weight or be fit
Have you ever starved yourself by not eating or by forcing yourself to vomit after eating
Have you ever told yourself that you’ll be happy after losing weight or getting fit

What do you do when you tell yourself that you’re not good enough? If you’re like me, you probably harm yourself in some way through negative self talk, or worse.

What would happen if you tried something other than a constant cycle of trying one extreme thing after another, only to fail and feel worse about yourself?

Try Balance To Be Healthy

The good news is you don’t need to punish yourself with diet and exercise if you If you want to:

pick up a bad of dog food, or your grandkids
walk 9 holes of golf, or take a hike, or take a bike ride
maintain or improve your brain health
improve your mood and mental health

The great news is you can do all that for free and without medication if you are reasonably healthy today.

I’ve been experimenting for the last year with the recipes for health outlined below. I’ve beeen more successful with some than others, and I’m still experimenting.

I’ve lost 15 pounds, added muscle, I sleep better, lowered my heart rate and blood pressure, improved my rowing times (cardio performance), and am happier.

Your results may vary, but I think most people will benefit from the simple recipes below to

improve your ability to move
improve your brain health
improve your happiness

Recipes for Better Health

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, and you definitely should start your health journey by paying a visit to your primary care physician. They can help you get connected with a dietitian and make sure you are healthy enough for physical exercise. They can also help detect any serious medical conditions that may be undiagnosed.

Be gentle and kind with yourself - in all things. This is the most important change of all

It’s very difficult to make big changes to your life all at once, so give one of these recipes a try for a month, and add the others as you develop the habit. So if you want to start with diet, try the changes listed in the diet section, and once you’ve solidified the habit of meeting your daily fiber goals, add the changes in one of the other sections.

Diet - Count Fiber not Calories

I think counting fiber grams is a pretty clever diet hack. We’re advised to eat 21 - 25 grams of fiber daily for women, and 30 - 38 grams a day for men.

To meet that goal, you’ll have to eat nuts, vegetables, fruit, and whole grains. You’ll get prebiotic foods that you’ll need for your gut health.

Add at least one serving of fermented foods such as sauerkraut, kombucha, kimchi, or yogurt. These will also improve your gut health.

What is this going to do for me

When you meet your daily fiber goals, and include prebiotic and probiotic foods, you’ll be full and you won’t be hungry for the high-processed, high-sugar foods that are killing you with inflammation. Chronic inflammation leads to heart disease, diabetes, alzheimer’s disease, and other autoimmune diseases.

You may still have sugar cravings, but they will diminish as you maintain the habit of eating enough fiber.

Movement

Try to move 1 hour a day to start. You don’t need to move for an hour all at once, and it’s actually better if you don’t (if that’s the only time you’re moving). Here’s a sample plan:

Walk for 15 minutes before eating breakfast
Walk for 15 minutes before eating lunch
Walk for 20 minutes after work
Stretch for 15 minutes before bed or before your morning walk

This example is a lot of walking. It gets you outside, which has been shown to be very helpful to reducing stress and improving your mood. Maybe best of all, walking is easy and free.

But if you can’t walk, or if you want to do other activities, choose something that you enjoy, and preferably gets you outside daily. For example, I enjoy indoor rowing, but I also try to get outside for at least one walk a day because I find it helps my mental health.

Add strength exercises like squats and push-ups (can be done modified against a wall or counter). Do 10 reps of each during 1 or 2 of your work breaks.

If you think an hour of movement a day is too challenging, shoot for 45 minutes or 30 minutes, or just get out for one walk a day.

The starting is the hardest part. And there will be times when you don’t want to do it. But you’ll find that if you just get out and walk around the block, you’ll see that your mood improves and you’ll go a little farther a little longer. It will happen. Be gentle and kind with yourself.

What’s this going to do for me

It changes your inertia. A body at rest tends to stay at rest, and a body in motion tends to stay in motion. You’ll notice that you are getting stronger, and that you can pick up that bag of dog food, and play with your grandkids without getting as tired.

De-Stress

Stress kills. It kills through increasing our blood pressure, and can cause us to eat and drink, or take drugs in a way that slowly kills us. That can all lead to ruined relationships, isolating us, which further ruins our health and happiness.

Stress can be managed by movement and meditation. Movement helps us complete the stress cycle letting our body know that the perceived danger is over.

Meditation helps reduce stress through breath work, and through learning to observe what is happening in our mind and body without getting caught up in thoughts and emotions. Mediation can also help with anxiety, depression, pain management.

Mediation has had a huge impact on my mental health and happiness. My sister recommended the Calm app to me, and I’ve been using that for 5+ years. There are other apps and in person options for meditation that you can try.

10 minutes a day is a great start.

Mindfulness is another way to reduce stress. Give yourself 10 minutes with your morning coffee to sit outside (or at a window) and simply observe what you see. Watch the clouds. Watch the trees move in the breeze. Notice the bird songs. Just observe.

Wrap Up

Gentle, kind care of ourselves is the antidote to the lie of perfectionism. It’s as simple as balancing diet, movement, and mindfulness in our lives. It’s tough to shift to a mindset of prioritizing our health and happiness, but once you start, you’ll want to keep caring for yourself.

The Balance Recipe

eat enough fiber
move in short intervals throughout the day
take 10 minutes to meditate or be mindful
prioritize yourself

Keep in mind this is a life long experiment. You’re not a failure if you don’t perfectly execute the plan. Be kind and gentle with yourself, and just keep at it.

Do you want to experiment with adding one of these recipes to your life? Let me know and I’ll check in once a week to see how you’re progressing.